If you’ve ever pointed out an ibis strutting through a car park, only for your partner to ignore you and keep scrolling on their phone, you’ve already run what TikTok has dubbed the Bird Test. And if they don’t even acknowledge the infamous Aussie “bin chicken”? Well, that might say more about your relationship than you think.
What the Bird Test Actually Means
Despite the name, the Bird Test isn’t really about birds. It’s about whether someone notices the small things you share with them — those tiny observations, jokes, or random comments that are really bids for connection.
Think of it like this: when you say, “Check out that cockatoo,” or “Look at the shape of that cloud,” you’re not testing their eyesight. You’re inviting them into your world for a moment. The way they respond — leaning in with curiosity or brushing you off — is what makes the difference.
@davidandhana bird test theory = if u point out something thats pretty mundane but interesting to u (like a bird) and ur partner shows interest.. they slay 🐦⬛❤️
♬ original sound – David & Hana
Why It Strikes a Chord in Australia
Here in Australia, the Bird Test hits differently. Birds are everywhere, demanding attention — noisy cockatoos, magpies swooping cyclists every spring, and those pesky seagulls digging through your Maccas bag. To ignore a bird here is almost an Olympic sport.
And yet, in relationships, ignoring those “bird moments” can pile up. You can’t easily forget when your partner consistently shrugs off your attempts to connect.
The Research Behind the Test
Psychologist Dr John Gottman has studied these moments for decades. His research shows that long-lasting couples turn toward each other’s bids for connection around 86% of the time. Couples who don’t? They only managed about 33% — and were far more likely to break up.
That means it’s not the big anniversary trips to the Whitsundays or surprise diamond rings that predict relationship success. It’s the small stuff.
It’s Not Just About Romance
The Bird Test applies to all kinds of relationships. When a mate sends you a silly photo and hopes you’ll laugh, that’s a bid. When your mum shares the same neighbourhood gossip for the third time, that’s a bid. Even at work, when a colleague tries to spark small talk about something outside the window, it’s another chance to connect — or dismiss.
Don’t Take It Too Literally
Of course, no one’s relationship should be judged on a single missed sighting. Everyone gets distracted, tired, or preoccupied. What matters is the pattern. Do they usually respond with warmth and interest, or do they consistently turn away?
If it’s the latter, it might be worth talking about how you feel. Experts recommend using “I” statements (for example, “I felt ignored when you didn’t respond”) rather than blame (“You never listen”).
The Takeaway
At its heart, the Bird Test is less about birds and more about presence. It’s about whether we’re willing to pay attention in life’s smallest moments.
So next time your partner says, “Look at that weird cloud,” take a second to look. You don’t have to care about the cloud itself — but you should care that they do.
Because in the end, love and connection aren’t built on big declarations. They’re hiding in the ordinary, everyday moments.
